How We Put the “fun” Back In Dysfunctional!

Had a comment from dragonmommie on my nit picking post that brought to mind some communication “tactics” Doug and I stumbled into lo’ these last 11 years.

Situation: Wife venting about all the things that are wrong in her world, which may or may not include the husband, children, home.

Doug’s question: “Do you want me to give any anwers/respond or should I just listen while you vent?”

Situation: Unreasonable and borderline crazy mommy talk, often directed at husband and aforementioned responses

Doug’s question: “Is there any way I can win in this conversation?” If no, “ok then, just so I know”. (the answer has never been yes)

Situation: Phone call between two people who are clearly missing each other’s point and obviously in the middle of other projects that need their attention

Doug’s or Joni’s request: “Let’s talk about this later when I get home”

Situation: Joni’s done some work around the house that may not be obvious & most likely will not be recognized

Joni’s request: “Look what I did to the closet and tell me how great it is”
Doug’s response: “Excellent. Looks great”

Situation: anything I don’t feel like doing that will make our lives and checkbook worse if I don’t snap out of it

Joni says: “I really want to go out to dinner but we can’t afford it. I need you to tell me no.”

Doug’s response: “I think we need to save the money and eat at home tonight.”

And this is my favorite

Joni says: “I feel like I’ve worked hard all day and I’m exhausted but for the life of me I can’t tell you what I’ve done all day.”

Doug’s response: “Are the kids alive?”
Joni: “Yes”
Doug: “Seems like you’ve done plenty”

Life is so much easier when you tell your spouse/partner what you need and of course I’m blessed that Doug is willing to honor that. And ladies, don’t tell me you wish you didn’t have to point out the seemingly obvious–they should just know and why can’t they figure it out. I understand. Truth is, generally speaking, they don’t look at things the way we do. They just don’t. Show them and tell them. I bet you darn near anything they welcome the information.

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One response to this post.

  1. I also need to point out the work I do around the house most times because it’s not obvious. Yes, I DO feel as if it should be noticed without my pointing it out. I do realize that they just do not look at things the way we do and it makes me feel like I am looking for applause (maybe I am) when I point things out to him! But, I really do need to point it out because I’ll have to say, “let’s keep this area clean (or clear of junk) for awhile, okay?”

    Reply

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