Talk about paying through the nose!

Did I tell you JD stuffed two necklace beads up his nose a couple weeks ago? Yeah, I probably figured you’d heard enough JD stories so what was one more. Anyway, he made a shaker at church out of beads and a plastic bottle. And as per my son, took it apart pouring the beads all over the floor at home. Because he couldn’t take care of his things, I told him that after nap we were going to clean up all the beads and throw them out. Too late.

Midway through nap, he emerges. “Mom? I have beads in my nose.” I look up his nose. Yep. There they were. Apparently the ceiling fan blew them in there. He couldn’t blow ’em out. I couldn’t get them out. Time to see the doctor–who laughs when I call. Pile everyone into the truck and off to the office. Doctor comes in. “Yep, he’s got beads in his nose.” (duh.) Doctor pulls one out with a special “pull foreign objects out of children’s noses” tool. Plugs the free nostril, tells JD to blow. Out she comes, flying across the room about 200 mph. Hits the doctor. Poetic justice.

Received the bill today(which has been submitted to insurance). Apparently, a 10 second bead removal costs $370.00 per nostril–even though JD did all the work on nostril #2. My PAP SMEAR doesn’t cost $370 and the doctor spends a lot more time in there! What in the world? $740 to remove two plastic beads from the kid who licks Pizza Hut walls in Iowa. Are they serious? Geez, the beads had holes in ’em. Had I known, I might have left them in a little longer. You know, as a learning experience. $740. Good grief.


9 responses to this post.

  1. Oh my gosh~ hahaha

    My son, who is now 6, did this about 2 years ago except he didnt tell me. As we were laying on the couch watching tv he mov ed just right and I noticed something way way up there. And so I asked…

    Is there something in your nose? (insert totally weird expression on my face)

    And he lowered his head in shame. Yes, mom. There is a bead in my nose and I cant get it out.

    Me: how long has it been there
    Bead nosed kid: 2 days
    Me: ugggggg, GET IN THE CAR!!!!!

    Me, bead nosed kids and my daughter went to the emergency room where we were seen for all about 15 seconds. The bill was over $400. That was for 1 bead. Just one!

    I think I need to rethink my college major and beacome a bead removal specialist.


  2. Thank heaven for little girls.


  3. Well actually Scott….my little girl did something very similar when she was 3 with a couple tightly wadded up pieces of toilet paper. There they were…as far up as anyone could get! So, being the bright young mother I was – I tackled her down to the ground and used the end of a toothpick to fish them out! In walks Grandma…”What are you doing?!!!” Me: “I have no idea!!!! But I’m NOT using my finger!” She ended up blowing them out, thankfully. But I would have gladly traded in monster in law at the ER for payment!


  4. When Seth was about two I heard sneezing coming from the other room. He managed to tell me in his limited two year old voc. that his nose hurt. I looked, didn’t see anything. But he continued to cry and sneeze. I looked some more…I saw something small, thin, maybe purple way up there. I could no way reach it. Tried having him blow. No luck. I called the dr. they sent me to an ear nose throat guy at 5pm on a Friday afternoon. Piled new born Joshi and kids in the car and by the time we got down there the office staff who were closing up for the weekend were taking bets as to what was up his nose. The dr. was kind enough to warn me, before he pulled it out, that there might be alot of blood. He reached in with his special tool and out came a Polly Pocket mirror. No blood, no pain, not even a wimper. I was kind of hoping the procedure would be a tad bit uncomfortable so that he wouldn’t do it again…. Thankfully he never did.


  5. I did that when I was three. Had some kind of string pull light end up there. As my mom was rushing me to the doctor, I freaked her out by saying, “I’ll be ok, mom. I’ll go to heaven and see Jesus.” Girls have a flair for the melodramatic. I can’t believe the cost of that though. That should be hand the doctor $10 and shake his hand or bring him some cookies or something. Definitely NOT worth that much!


  6. Posted by Beth on July 27, 2007 at 8:39 am

    I have a friend who at the age of 5 put a Raisinette in their nose. Their mother thought he had a bloody nose when the chocolate started melting out of one nostril. He finally fessed up and to the doc. they went!! BOYS! I guess it may just be a matter of time with my 2 boys. UGH.


  7. I’ve seen so much worse. Remember I’ve worked in a Daycare center for 20 years. I could write a novel on stuff that has been inserted in noses and ears as well. Just to make you laugh here’s a short list: playdough,beans,tiny bells,sunflower seeds,styrofoam,newspaper,chalk,…. I could go on and on.


  8. Oh man, maybe i’ll think twice before allowing our kids to use beads before 1st grade???

    Do you really have to pay $740??? I hope you just had a copay?? That’s an expensive art project!!!


  9. Wow. Totally freakin’ out. That is A LOT of money.


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