This is a piggyback on Gretch-A-Sketch who did an awesome post on men and women and the money we make–how does that affect a dating or marriage relationship? I started to make a comment and just kept going and going so I though I’d bring it on over to my blog.
“How important is money when it comes to dating someone/choosing marriage?
Does a woman making more money than her partner or potential partner threaten a man?
When a mans income is less than that of his partner how does this affect the woman’s thoughts and views of him?” – Gretch-A-Sketch, The Daffodil Chronicles
Gretchen also asks is it wrong to look for a man who can be the breadwinner? When I was single, I did have those thoughts as well. I did want someone with a stable career — whichever that was. That wasn’t my first thought when I met a man but it came into play down the road. And it might not even be the money issue but the personality. Was this a person who could accept responsibility and maturity? Did they understand the concept of sacrificing for the sake of others. That once in a relationship, they had to look beyond their own need. I did not realize how selfish I was until I got married and couldn’t always have my own way. Could my partner handle that for himself?
When Doug and I got married I was not working initially. Finally, I got a job and in 2 years was making more than him. He is a teacher. I was in Financial Services. We decided to live below our means so I could stay home if we had children. When I did quit my job, we lost about 60% of our income. But over the years, God replaced all of that salary. Doug works very hard–sometimes 2 or 3 jobs–and I know his heart weighs heavy on provision. He definitely feels the pressure to provide and lead the family which makes it harder for him to pursue a different career which would make him happier, but would destabilize our $$ temporarily. Tough decisions.
So what do you think about these questions? How does money or career come into play with your relationships? Can we afford to be so romantic as to not worry about it?