What to say?

Four hours from now will mark the 10th anniversary of my sister Barb’s death at the age of 38. And 32 hours from now marks the 20th anniversary of my mom’s death at the age of 54. Both died from complications from Type 1 Diabetes.

I usually try to take either day, Sep 30 or Oct 1 for myself if possible, and spend it alone reflecting or revisiting. Last year, I felt I got to the point where it didn’t need to be such an event anymore. However, this year I am really feeling the weight of the loss. I need to talk to my mom about some of the things going on with my own children. What did she do to get us through it? I know I can ask other parents but mom is uniquely familiar with our DNA. And Barb, there are SO many funny things I want to share with her that few others would appreciate. Like a book that I picked up for the kids. She and I shared a similar sense of humor and she would have done at least 10 minutes on the title “Way Out West Lives A Coyote Named Frank”. Who names a coyote Frank? Never mind that he has a coyote friend named Larry.

I just really miss them this year. Don’t know why more now than before. I guess “why” doesn’t matter. I just do.


6 responses to this post.

  1. This is a lot to bear. My heart aches just reading it. I will be praying for you.


  2. I’m thinking of you. My heart bleeds for you. Hugs


  3. It is really sad. Must be very difficult for you to bear this pain. May God give you the strength to bear all this.


  4. My sister died 19 years ago from breast cancer at age 31. We were just beginning to spend some time together as sisters and I often wonder how that would have evolved. My heart is there with you for your sis and mom…


  5. I’m sorry Joni…


  6. The 9th of this month, my mom will be gone 4 years. I miss her terribly even now. I am expecting our third, and she only got to see our first one, who doesn’t even remember her. I so wish I could just call her and chat. I’d give anything to hear her voice again. I understand how you feel, so don’t feel guilty by taking a day off to reflect and remember. It’s good for us to remember our loved ones.


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