Laws of Parenting

Enjoy this excerpt from Paul Peterson’s post on the at “21 Irrefutable Laws of Parenting” inspired by John Maxwell and his 21 irrefutable laws of leadership. I’ve added some parenthetical comments relating to my personal experience. Please click paulpetersonlive.com to read his blog and the complete post.

  1. Someone will poop right when you’re late and running out the door. (daily)
  2. Someone will run naked into your living room when you are entertaining guests. (hopefully not a grown up)
  3. Someone will throw your cell phone into the bathtub… at least once. (or washer)
  4. Someone will hide your keys and forget where they are. (ok, that was me)
  5. Someone will make funny comments about “certain body parts”… publicly. (I can’t put it in writing)
  6. You will have to touch poop. (no comment)
  7. You will be the couple no one wants to sit next to in the restaurant… at least once. (ask Matt & Jess)
  8. You will feel like quitting… at least once. (but to whom do I give my letter of resignation?)
  9. You will have to continually evaluate and revise your parenting style. (ugh.)
  10. You will wonder whether or not spanking is the best option. (see #9)
  11. They will act like you. (again, ugh.)
  12. They will accept your apology. (and you will add $$ to their therapy fund)
  13. They will make you laugh. (relieves #8)
  14. They will teach you about grace. (see 10-12)
  15. They will come up with the most creative places to hide food they don’t want to eat. (the back of the truck to be found by the clerk loading my groceries–nice.)
  16. At least once they will cut their own hair with sharp, adult-only objects. (or lamp cords)
  17. At least once they will get a bruise that looks for sure like child abuse. (really, she ran into the door)
  18. At least once they will make you curse (at least in your head). (or out loud in front of God and everybody)
  19. At least once they will throw themselves screaming to the ground. (right next to you)
  20. At least once they will make loud, obnoxious body noises… and people will think it was you (I can live with that)
  21. Being a parent is the highest title of honor and the best experience… ever. Even God chose to refer to Himself as “Father.” (enough said)
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6 responses to this post.

  1. fun to read! It took me awhile to figure out how someone in your family cut their hair with a lamp cord.

    Reply

  2. Joni,

    This is FUNNY stuff!

    Reply

  3. Posted by Rebecca on December 9, 2007 at 1:09 am

    I love your philosophy…and I love all of John Maxwell’s books! I must admit, as a parent, you stopped me at number 10, and after doing a bit of research regarding my own personal conflict with spanking, I found a great video clip I’d love to share with other parents who aren’t certain if they should spank or not…

    http://iquestions.com/video/view/632

    Hope you find as many answers in this clip as I did…

    Rebecca

    Reply

  4. I found you via the WordPress dashboard.

    This is a great list with great commentary! It is so….real.

    Sigh.

    If a young couple considering parenthood read these kinds of things and *really* understood and realized all that they would have to deal with, touch, clean and struggle with, would they choose to go through with it?

    Of course, people do, generation after generation. For reason number 21, whether they realize it or not.

    Reply

  5. Nice post Joni. Once I found my keys inside a Video Cassette Recorder. You can trust the kids to do the most unusual things.

    Reply

  6. That’s hilarious. We call # 18 “non-Sunday school words.” Unfortunately because our Daughter repeated them – in Sunday school. Oops.

    Reply

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