The other day, I just didn’t feel like doing any of the things that needed to get done. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I didn’t have the luxury of not getting those things done. Amazingly enough, that was enough motivation for me to actually complete most of my list.
Doug and I have had this financial mess swirling around us. We’ve had a couple scares with my health–neck and back problems, a mysterious “mass” found on an xray which turned out to be a harmless uterine fibroid, a call back for more mammography films which yielded nothing. We lost Doug’s Grandma Tillie in early February. And yet through all of this, it still seems as though we have been touched merely by peripheral winds while our friends are in the middle of the twister.
We have 3 friends dealing with cancer. One was just given good news of no more cancer after a year of chemo and radiation and all the fun that comes with it. One was just diagnosed and still awaits prognosis. And one may not see summer arrive this year. Another friend’s father was diagnosed with a tenuous cardiac problem while being treated for pneumonia. A man I know committed suicide and now I only get to see his wife.
I don’t know why, but we have been sheltered. The best way to describe it is like we’re safe in a bunker watching our friends get picked off one by one and there’s nothing we can do about it. So this is much of the reason for my “don’t feel like it”s lately. My heart is heavy for my friends. The biggest problem Doug and I have is the least eternal. Money. There is a lot of soul business going on. I just hope that Doug and I can get over ourselves enough to hold up our friends. I think we can (cliche alert) with God’s help. No, you know its not with God’s help. Its because of God that we can. Help shmelp. He’s the one who does it all anyway. So I just hope Doug and I can get out of the way and follow God.