Fat Blogger update

I am SO not the one to inspire a movement. Months ago, I outed myself as a fatblogger and wanted to use the blog as a journal for my progress. Well, yeah. Lots of things have happened since then and suffice it to say, I have not turned into fitblogger yet. I started working part-time in August then got a type II Diabetes warning, formerly called a diagnosis. Apparently the doctor did not officially label me as Diabetic in my medical chart, contrary to his verbal instructions to me. Jerk. For some reason, I chose that time frame to stop exercising regularly, add tons of sugar to my diet and gain back all the weight I lost last year by this time. Plus 4 ounces. I’m losing my sense of humor and positive outlook on this whole mess.

For over 40 years I have struggled with self-confidence. Many times I know the right answers deep down but I don’t seem to have the guts to stand for them. I know they’re the right ones because time seems to reveal that. And for a good many years of my past, the “christian” environment I submitted to didn’t necessarily encourage standing fast. So I finally feel like I’m coming out of a cave and wham! I let myself go back into crappy thinking.

I’m tired of anti-depressants, pain, anti-inflammatories, physical therapy, hormones, and insomnia. Sadly the things that are comforting to me are the things that cause all the problems–fried food and chocolate!

So here we go. Start over. Lets see how we do this year. On your mark, get set…GO! Step 1. Today’s weigh in…199.4 lbs

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7 responses to this post.

  1. That’s just not fair. You have to eat, exercise, and medicate like a diabetic but you don’t get the title. That blows! Do they do 5K runs for Type II warnings?

    Hang in there, Joni. My only advice is to let your brokeness lead you toward Christ – and not away from Him. Is that corny. Geesh, all of a sudden it sounded a little Hallmarky and I kind of threw up in my mouth.

    I’m just saying that I think we connect to others and to Christ more through our brokeness than we do our successes and confidence. Not that those things are bad. But healing comes when we let Him love us in that brokeness and kick all that crappy thinking out.

    End of Afterschool Special. “Today, a very special Blossom.”

    Reply

  2. I can relate to you so much. I have battled low self-esteem for many years. Seemed to start when puberty started. Darn hormones!

    Now throw 3 babies in the mix, and there’s post-partum depression and a body that “ain’t what she used to be” and I get pretty low sometimes.

    So, here’s my *hug* to you and I know you’ll rise above!

    Reply

  3. Posted by Phyxius on April 4, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    Good luck in achieving your goals =D

    Reply

  4. Now, now – don’t be so hard on yourself. I know those words because my hubby told them to me earlier today. I was made at myself because I sleep too much on my days off. He pointed out that a night-shift worker’s body does get turned around and need to catch up. Okay, good point.
    Why is it women, especially moms, are so good at being so down on themselves? I don’t know the answer, but I will share exploring the mystery with you and tell you that I think positive encouragment from others can make a difference. It seems we’ll believe other people.
    Having had gestational diabetes 3 times, my chances are 50% of getting diabetes. I’m sure I’m in a “pre-diabetic” state right now, but I’ve just refused to go to the doctor. How’s that for avoidance? So, here’s some support from the trenches (anti depressants et al) that we can give ourselves the break we need to make some of those changes we need. Hugs, prayers, and best of luck to you. Sharing is good medicine, too. 🙂

    Reply

  5. Diabetes requires big adjustments! It’s hard to change your lifestyle and your way of thinking about food, especially in the face of all the conflicting advice out there. It’s not an easy thing, and you shouldn’t put yourself down if you’re not adjusting instantly. I’ve been diagnosed for over 2 years, and I’m still adjusting. Take it slow, one step at a time and I’m sure you’ll get there.

    There’s a lot of support on the web for diabetics, which may also help. http://www.tudiabetes.com and http://www.diabetesdaily.com/ are great community sites for diabetics. http://www.bloodsugar101.com/ has a lot of information on the scientific side of things, while http://www.alt-support-diabetes.org/NewlyDiagnosed.htm has good info for the newly diagnosed.

    Reply

  6. All the best in your efforts. Keep us updaed and we can join you in prayer. This is a long journey. Stick with it.

    Reply

  7. […] 1, 2008 · No Comments So I’ve been doin’ fatblogger posts and stuff and since I’m not a fan of weight loss accountability, I’m fine with that. […]

    Reply

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